You are Xiaoming, an 18-year-old from a western province in China. You are preparing to take the College Entrance Exam, a crucial test that could shape your future.
Because educational resources are unevenly distributed, getting into one of the top 100 universities is your best chance for a quality higher education. To achieve this, you must rank among the top 2% of the 300,000 candidates in your province, which means placing within the top 6,000.
Fortunately, you attend the best class in a prestigious highschool, and most of the time you rank among the top 3,000 in your province.
[[Got stressed?|Your family]]Your parents are very open-minded, and they always respect your decisions. Your grandparents also consider you the jewel of the family and shower you with their affection.
Your family doesn't have high expectations for your future; they just want you to be happy and pursue what you truly desire.
[[I love them!|Your highschool life]]Your parents have demanding jobs that require frequent travel, so even though you attend high school in the same city, you have to reside in the school during for the most of the time
You only have a small window of relaxation time from 6 pm every Saturday to 2 pm every Sunday, which is the only weekly break for all 12th grade students in your highschool. However,, you barely get to rest due to the endless homeworks.
[[Damn it!|Sunday]]
At 11 o'clock your parents ask you what you want for lunch, but you feel a little anxious thinking about the exams that are coming up at 6:30 in the evening.
[[A. Have lunch with your family|Yum!]]
[[B. Go back to school earlier|:(]]It's Sunday and you're back at school early to prepare for the monthly ranking test, which has a special meaning this time as it's the last one before the last, as well the most important "battle" - the College Entrance Exam. You had a big drop in your last test, so you're eager to prove yourself again.
Mr. Wang, the head teacher of your class and the "monarch" of more than 80 students who spend six and a half days a week together under the same ceiling,, has high hopes for you and your peers. The ranking of his students in each exam are the most important indicator of his performance and will have a significant impact on his career.
[[We are on the same boat|Lunch?]]Your dad made your favourite braised beef for you! You even take a nap after the lunch and you wake up feeling refreshed!
Happy times always go by in a flash. By 1:30 you think it's time to go.
[[Get into a taxi|Am I late?]]
You return to the school at 11:30, put away your luggage in the dorm and have a tasteless meal in the canteen.
When you arrive at class at 12:15 , two-thirds of your classmates are already there, and Mr. Wang, your teacher, is at the door grading the in-class test that you submitted the day before.
Although Mr. Wang told you all that you could arrive at 2:00 at the latest, it seems that many of your classmates take this monthly ranking test very seriously, but you find out that you should be one of the last ones to arrive.
[[Am I late?|The call]]Upon arriving at 2 o'clock, you notice that you are the last person to arrive. Mr. Wang, who is grading yesterday's in-class test at the desk by the door, keeps staring at you as you settle in, unpack your bag, and begin studying without comment.
Your friend Xiaoqiang attempts to greet you by turning around, but a sharp cough from Mr. Wang silences him. Xiaogang looks back at you briefly before returning back to his studies.
[[Am I late?|The call]]At 4pm, you feel your phone vibrate. Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzbzzzzzzzzzz
Unlike other head teachers, Mr. Wang is lenient with phone usage and doesn't collect them upon 6:30pm, when the school week starts.
[[Bzzzzzzzzzz|The call 2]]
You see that your father is calling, which is unusual since parents usually text if it's not an emergency.
Realizing something might be happening, you excuse yourself to the restroom to answer the call.
[[Your heart rate is now at 180|The call 3]]Your dad tells your that your grandpa has been hit by a scooter while he was out for groceries and needs immediate surgery. He advises you to go to the hospital right away.
After informing Mr. Wang, you rushed to the hospital.
Grandpa was in surgery, your mom was holding my grandmother, who was crying, and your dad was pacing anxiously back and forth, not saying a word.
[[Fingers crossed...|Safeandsound]]Luckily, Grandpa's operation was successful, and the doctor said there wasn't a significant problem.
Due to the anesthesia, Grandpa didn't wake up until almost 10 pm.
He told you it would have been okay if you hadn't come, that your grandma, mom, and dad would take care of him, and he really want you to put your future at the first place.
[[Good night...|Take a rest]]You expresse your desire to try to catch up on the exam the next morning to your mom, but your mom just want you stay at home to get everything digested, until the exams finishes at 5:00 pm the day after.
She called Mr. Wang to apologize for your absence, as it would affect his performance assessment for the school month. Mr. Wang didn't say much about it, but he suggested that you take some rest, showing concern for your mental well-being for the first time.
You dad and your granma want to stay at the hospital so your mom takes you home to bed.
[[Good night......|backtoschool]]
You return to the classroom at 6:20 pm on Monday, just ten minutes before Mr. Wong's daily class meeting where he will summarize the day's school performance of your class.
- He will praises the "role models" while get some others roasted.
As you enter the classroom, you notice some "popular kids" (you know what I mean) giggling at you, but you are used to their contemptuous behavior as they are mean to everyone.
[[Take your seat|Surprise]]At 6:30, Mr. Wang enters the classroom and the children fall silent. His doesn't look that happy - as he always does.
"To be honest," Mr. Wang sighs, "I've been disappointed with some of my students lately."
This is not the first time Mr. Wang has made such remarks, so you don't think much of it.
[[But you're still a bit nervous|Surprise 2]]"Only one month left until the last battle,, and someone has chosen to be a deserter at such a critical time!" Mr. Wang exclaimed, his disappointment palpable.
You finally understand who Mr. Wang is referring to.
Your heart starts racing.
Your blood pressure rises and you feel short of breath.
Your face turns red and hot like the LED lights swaying above your head.
[[You realize that you are not ready for this|Surprise 3]]
He says, "I understand that many students may have personal issues that could impact their focus on studies. But still, escaping at such a moment is unacceptable and cowardly. It not only brings disgrace upon yourselves but also tarnishes the collective honor of our class and your famlies!
Your mind goes blank, and you even forget to breathe, not registering what Mr. Wang said next.
[[....................|Surprise 4]]
The rest of the night passes in a deadly silence, with you quietly working on linear algebra book chapter that will be covered in tomorrow's math class. But the truth is you haven't accomplished anything.
No one speaks to you except for your roommate and good friend Xiaoqiang, who places a bottle of your favorite Coca-Cola Zero on your desk during break time and pats you on the shoulder.
[[Take a sip of Coke|Surprise 5]]
Upon returning to your dorm,, Xiaoqiang tells you that earlier that morning, Mr. Wang had shared with the class all the details of what had happened to you and your family and mercilessly insulted you as a shameful coward - he believed that since your grandfather is safe and sound, you should have come back for the exam.
[["Do you think this was appropriate?"|Surprise 6]], you ask Xiaoqiang.
Xiaoqiang shakes his head, sighs: "there's nothing we can do."
Your roommates are sitting on their beds reciting excerpts from Xi Jinping's speeches, which are always an important part of the politics exams.
[[You looked around, and sighed|Surprise 7]]The dormitory caretaker pulls the switch for the entire floor, plunging your dorm into darkness and signaling that it's time for bed.
As usual, all your roommates except you and Xiaoqiang, are still under the covers with flashlights, diligently trying to memorize every word there did recite before.
You know that this method of studying is unproductive, but you sometimes, still did pretend to be studying hard too because you don't want to act too differently than the others.
[[You let out another sigh|Surprise 8]]You know you're not going to be able to sleep tonight - Mr. Wang's voice keeps echoing in your head - but you try hard to get yourself a little rest anyway.
[[Good night?|end]]The above story is all based on my real life experiences during high school.
I have changed some details for privacy reasons.